OBZKURE ANEKDOTEZ FOR MANIAKAL MASSEZ

by Troldhaugen

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Lukas S-G
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Lukas S-G Some of the strangest music I've ever heard, but that's just part of its undeniable charm and appeal. Fascinating listen the whole way through, keeps you on your toes. This album takes you on a wild ride and you'll enjoy every minute! Favorite track: Viva Loa Vegas.
Manon Charles
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Manon Charles I listen to this album and I close my eyes and I fly to other lands with the trolls (am I in this rocket ?). I discovered new emotions that I've never felt before. Thanks ! Favorite track: Cut To The Chase.
Petra Morse
Petra Morse thumbnail
Petra Morse This is the most original, weird and wacky album I've probably ever heard. The songs, despite jumping from genre to genre (laughing maniacally while doing so), all fit together, somehow, into something brilliant. Favorite track: Lefty's Wild Ride.
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    A terrible attack at a Mexican fiesta, a dark ride through the underworld, spooky bayou voodoo and space travel are just some of the tasty delights you'll find in "Obzkure Anekdotez for Maniakal Massez", the latest installment from TROLDHAUGEN. This wily collection of twisted tales showcases the band's inclination towards all that is weird and wacky, not once letting up on hard hitting rhythms, technical instrumentality, lush orchestrated insanity and acrobatic vocal stylings! Obzkure Anekdotez for Maniakal Massez is released through Bird's Robe Records. Album art by Andrew Saltmarsh.

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    Get all 4 Troldhaugen releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of OBZKURE ANEKDOTEZ FOR MANIAKAL MASSEZ, Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Troll After Midnight), RAMSHACKLE, and Troldhaugen E.P.. , and , .

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  • Digipak
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a beautiful high quality double gatefold card case with liner notes, lyric booklet and artwork by Andrew Saltmarsh!

    Includes unlimited streaming of OBZKURE ANEKDOTEZ FOR MANIAKAL MASSEZ via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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credits

released August 27, 2014

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Troldhaugen Wollongong, Australia

Wacky dudes with crazy tunes!

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Track Name: Hunting Tactics For Mythical Creatures
A creature from the plains in a far off land
Is caged by the hands
Of a greedy man of evil
Trapped and jeered to be sold for all to see
The beast is now a freak, at least that's what they call him...
They whip him when he don't dance!
“Someday i'm gonna find the strength to break this cage...”

Darkness falls all around
It waits in silence till it's keepers have left the grounds
Enraged it breaks it's cage into the night it flees
Not caring what trail it leaves...

Now he's free No bars of steel, no crowds to please
Fast, he flees
Soon they'll see their prized possession’s broke it's leash
They'll fume and steam!

“Find that freak!!!”

Now they hunt the beast

“FIND THAT FREAK!!!”

“I will not be caged, I will break these chains”

Now they shall know how it feels
To be made out the fool, what a wicked ordeal.
Fear will be seen in their eyes
If they don't leave me be, I will bring their demise
Track Name: The Good, The Bad and The Gristle
“Y'all go an' get back now ya hear...”

Now, here's a tale born of strife
Of how a town let pain and hunger thrive

It was 5 months into a horrible drought
And the town was starved and weak
When a strange old man with a caravan
Came to town to sell his treats

YEE HAW!

Oh, Come try these treats of meat
Made daily fast and fresh
Don't mind that rotten smell
“Made only from the best...”

Long we had lived on our fertile lands
Now our town is a den of dust and sand
For too long we've starved
Our people have halved
Long we'll strive till the evil leaves our land

Darkness falls on hungry mouths
The salesmen leaves the scene
The townsfolk chow on cured meat
A snack so dark and lean...

None ponder where this food is from
Despite the horrid drought
Till someone sees their graves are robbed
This meat is not from cow

“What have we been feasting on?!?”

For now we stand
Arm in arm,
Hand in hand!

If we look inside ourselves
We will rid our lands from the faces of evil.
For too long we have starved and toiled,
Today is the day we stand in triumph!

“I brought you aid, when you were in pain?”
Still our town is a den of dust and sand
“Why do me in? What good will that bring?”
Long we'll strive till the evil leaves our land

“No!”
Track Name: Lefty's Wild Ride
Hear that sound
Coming up from the ground?
That's the sweet, sweet purr of my ride

Oh a chauffeur’s life
Can be a struggle sometimes,
Especially when you're full of
Maggots and bones...

“Where's your eye?
What's with all these flies?”

Shut your traps and get in my car

Down through the dark
With a screech and a spark
The unsuspecting couple
Get the ride of their lives!

Ahead in the road
The ground splits and corrodes
Driving straight for the fires below

“Oh please wake us
From this nightmare
No, we never agreed to this
We're not ready to die
Take us home
Before we lose our minds”

Strap right in
Let off the firing pin
The wheels start to spin
On their own

Skid and slide
Into the other side
So on this wild ride
We’ll go!

Buckle down
Into hell we're bound
And like a devil's hound
We'll roar!

Lefty’s ride
Will be the end of your life
So keep your hands inside
And lets roll!

Speeding straight through the flames
Like it's some kind of game
The smoke is filling our lungs

Demons swirling around
The dead cry and they howl
We’re losing grip of our souls!

Now you'll party with us
Just beware of the punch
Excuse the rotting foul stench,
We're quite the lively old bunch

Now you'll party with us
We're not expecting too much
Except you'll need to be dead
To join our lively old bunch

(No we don't expect too much,
But you've both got to be dead
To join our lively old bunch!)

No one leaves here
You can't go
Quit your screaming
Let yourselves go!

No escaping
Your new home
You’re not dreaming

Charred and blackened canyons
Stretching to the heavens
Molten rock
Forms a burning wave

Spirits and demons
Laughing and singing
Under their smiles
They all know your pain

“Somebody save us
Help us and protect us
Slowly our minds will crack and drift away”

“Oh! Why were we brought here
By this crazy madman?
How could we end up this way?”

“WE'RE HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THAT WALL!”

“AHHHH! WHO ARE YOU?!?”

I'M LEFTY.

Strap right in
Let off the firing pin
The wheels start to spin
On their own

Skid and slide
Into the other side
So on this wild ride
We’ll go!

Buckle down
Into hell we're bound
And like a devil's hound
We'll roar!

Keep our speed, and what a life we'll lead!
Engines burning,
Wheels keep turning

You’ve been on Lefty’s Wild Ride!

OH YEAH!
Track Name: The Rabiator Teuthida
Rum, pints and rumours
Are spilling fast tonight
Down in the dark end of town

A brave band of sailors
Catch a drunkard's tale
The likes that chills their very mortal souls

“Wives and daughters gone!
At night, their voices call...”

“Pain and sadness
Stop this madness
Find us help us
Hear our voices”

Their cries will bathe the shore.

And so we drink to the dolls of suffering
As their cries fill the toughest men with fear
And no one knows of this frightful mystery
Except a solitary foul smelling man they call The Squid

Who dare to knock,
No visitors I’ll see.
Leave now, go away,
Head back where you came.

What? No women here,
No more questions
Leave me be in solitude,
Find another to blame.

Clothes torn and tattered
Covering up his face
That guy was hiding something
We'll put him in his place

(How dare they knock,
Well soon they shall see
In time, I'll rise,
They'll remember my name.

Oh, here on my own
I have squandered
Soon my name will be in lights,
I will bathe in the fame)

“Under cover of night, the brave adventurers set sail towards the haunting screams out in the blackened abyss. As the cries get louder a cave emerges in the darkness ahead. They navigate its dangerous rocks and head inside...”

Welcome one and all! Roll up and see the dolls
They're whirling and their twirling will amaze your souls

Juggling and trapeze, they do it all with ease
You've never seen such talent in your lives!

Long we've sailed across the seven seas, never once have we seen a fouler man than thee.
Now we'll free all these women full of misery, they will not be your crooked toys again.

Far, far across the seven seas, all will hear of our brave and noble victory
No more lies from your rancid mouth of heresy, from your ropes and your ladders you will hang

NO THIS CANNOT BE!
THEY LOVED ME!?

The dolls of suffering!
Track Name: Día del Chupacabra
Día de los Muertos
Celebration plans of
Decking out the desert in lights
Skulls line the streets with carnival treats
A ghoulish gathering on this night!

Fountains of tequila
As the sun begins to set
But soon their celebrations
May just go to their heads

Have you all forgotten
The one true meaning
Of our sacrificial festival

Too long
We've been
Unseen and forgotten
Let us come to show you how it's done!

Rising from the ground
Terror lurking nearer
Screaming at the night
Beast will bring its foul bite

¡Chup' Chup', Chupa' Chupacabra!
Blanket the town with the sound of death and slaughter
¡Chup' Chup', Chupa' Chupacabra!

¡Chup' Chup', Chupa' Chupacabra!
Sangre en la calle para siempre,
¡Loco! Loco! Ayudame!

Spines snapped, skulls cracked,
Colours on the streets that
Coat the floats and streamers as the
People run for their lives
Hear the sound of
Mariachi death-waltz
Castanets and chaos in the night

¿Cómo pueden las personas ser tan estúpido?
¿Ellos realmente quieren a morir?
Huir de las sombras de la noche
Corre por tu vida
¿Realmente desea morir?

UNO, DOS, TRES, ¡VAMOS!

¡Ay Ay Ay! My friends are slaughtered!
Men and woman lie in pieces on the ground!
How could we have been so stupid?!
Now there's none left in the town!
Track Name: Catoptric Contortions
Traipsing within its doors
You walk towards a fickle light
Back and forth you're lost in its
Twisted halls
Inside the house of frights!

Trembling, you find a peculiar room
With mirrors on all its walls
Your reflections contort and stretch
You can't be sure but something here seems wrong...

Short and tall, your face, you can't recall,
You scream!
Stretched, grotesque,
Perturbed you must confess
So you try to leave,
But now here you're doomed to be!

Staring gazes
May judge your faults
But none, will ever be as cruel
As yours.

Slowly you begin to realise,
All of these horrid, beastly apparitions
Can never be contained!

Here with your demons
You're trapped inside

This your doom
Confined within this room
Now, your fate
Brought about by your self hate

Founded on lies
You gave them life.
Track Name: Viva Loa Vegas
The Loa level
Is a den of greed
So come sell your soul
For a ticket

One pass to the house of thieves
Light up the stone path
Through the thicket
Cause you’re in it

You can hear through
The jungle night
You can feel the drum beat
Getting louder

Straight through
The giant doors
And into the mouth of sin!



Golden, swollen, corpses
Yet they're laughing in the light of greed
Mammon’s calling, souls for coins
Yes, Babylon’s alive, you’ve seen

Burning, yearning, churning
Deep inside your vacant, tortured soul
Doors slam shut and now you’re stuck
No you can't break the baron’s hold!

“Hoom baba, Hoom baba
Ooh jah hoo
Badaba hoombah, hurrbah
Daba ja hoo
Cha!

Hoom baba, Hoom baba
Ooh jah hoon
Hyoo da badoonja
Grabba doon gah!”

Hang up your body
Come join the party
Suit made of bones and leather

Let the sin in
The fun will begin
When you’re rolling with evil
Its better...

The corpse king of greed
From the heart of the bayou
Is here to collect his fees

Dead Souls clinging
To the jewels and gold
While they watch their mortality flee.

Betting for freedom
In the depths of your greed
You're beginning to see
Here forever you will be

(With no hope left, spin the roulette!)

Wheeling and dealing
Oh his grin you can feel
And under ivory ceilings
Your fate you try to seal

(As the stakes get higher, jump in the fire!)

Slots spin as their minds swim in unrest
Cards dealt on tattered felt, their odds are not the best

Drinking, dancing, dices roll
(Pour a glass, it may be your last!)
Throw down, your soul

Wasting your time away
You'll stay forever
You roll the dice
But never land the win


Inside your brain the greed
Will fast consume you
You're aces high
But hold a hand of sin!

More sell their souls
To eternity
The prize is pain
The house always wins

“FULL HOUSE!”

I've still got one more trick up my sleeve...

“Hoom baba, Hoom baba
Ooh jah hoo
Badaba hoombah, hurrbah
Daba ja hoo
Cha!

Hoom baba, Hoom baba
Ooh jah hoon
Hyoo da badoonja
Grabba doon gah!”
Track Name: CLANG!
No one in the street hears his cries
He warns that if they don't, they'll die

His mechanic creation could end all their lives
And now it's loose outside...

CYMBALS CRASH AND FEET OF STEEL TRUDGE 'CROSS THE TOWN
A THOUSAND FEET OR MORE IT STANDS, WHO'LL SHUT IT DOWN?

I guess you'll listen now...
Track Name: Cut To The Chase
For years and years we've chased and fought
Through ages come and gone
Two locked in fate though never faced
The chase keeps raging along

Long we've seen each other's backs
But not each other's eyes
Each incarnation tests our wits
But why?

We are bound and burdened to
Rage and jealousy
Every thought is filled with you
“Guardaci!”

Death is nothing more than a
Cruel, cruel joke
Destined to repeat ourselves
Day after day

Till the fire turns to smoke!


Still we fail
Tooth and nail

Shoving the tables back
Fast the bar stirs wild and people scream
Amidst the bedlam, I catch the fire hatch close
You make your leave

Veiled in the night, you will find me
Sword and dagger in hand
Towers of the town we are climbing,
Finest rogues in the land

Collars popped and chains of gold, tonight will be the end for you
As I step into the party joint, the crowd will gasp and split in two
I see your silhouetted shape among the fray of lights and dancing fog
I raise my piece, but in a flash you're gone

More and more,
I start to think as one

High in the north, on sacred ground
Thunder will roar and the war drums will sound
With rage in their eyes, two warriors face
Two become one at the end of their chase

Free now from their pointless rows
My mind, now in solitude
Track Name: Swamp Rocket (пуск зажигание)
As one we strive
for our glory
пуск зажигание
да

In an abandoned shed
Out in the fields of red
A relic left rusted, crumbled and cold

Born from a time
When man fought to climb
Beyond where any man had ventured before

Who else should come upon it
But a band of wily beasts
Not knowing what they're in for
They scuffle and scramble in...

Spiraling straight for the heavens
Higher than ever before
The beasts will be one with skies now
Far from the swamps they soar

Into the stars now
Climbing higher still
Approaching the great unknown without aim
And no men have flown as far,
But no men they are.

Darkness all around
Confusion rife
In cold machinery
They ride

“This just in: A forgotten cold war era space relic was seen leaving the earth's atmosphere this morning. Stranger still, sources say that the occupants of the vessel did not appear to be human...”

No puddles or toadstools in sight
Still they fly

Home is but a faded thought
No control or guidance
Where will they go?

At once the ship burns all of its fuel
Turns engines to thrust and achieves hyper speed
Increasing their pace
Far further they race
No ending in sight
But the vastness of space

Gaze at the event horizon
Quickly feeling it's force
Will they survive?
Stretching into nothingness
Go! Head for new lands!

двигатели первой, второй ступени работают нормально

Hail brave celestial ones
Far from your distant sun

On chartless ground they set their feet
Hailed as heroes
Not as beasts
Far they've come
But still there's more to find!